1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:05,133
Boy, the way Glenn Miller played
2
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:08,634
Songs that made the hit parade
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,734
Guys like us, we had it made
4
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:14,734
Those were the days
5
00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:18,701
And you knew where you were then
6
00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,968
Girls were girls, and men were men
7
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:26,934
Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again
8
00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:30,467
Didn't need no welfare state
9
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:33,934
Everybody pulled his weight
10
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,534
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great
11
00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:44,501
Those were the days
12
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:51,767
Oh!
13
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:54,167
Edith... Please, will you--
14
00:00:54,167 --> 00:00:55,634
What's the matter?
15
00:00:55,634 --> 00:00:58,334
Your two feet are like ice.
16
00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,267
Oh, I'm sorry.
17
00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:01,767
God!
18
00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:04,133
Remember the expression:
19
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:07,200
"Cold feet, warm heart."
20
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,367
Maybe you oughta put your
heart up against my feet.
21
00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:13,767
[GIGGLING]
22
00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,701
[GIGGLING CONTINUES]
23
00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:19,133
She laughs at that.
24
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:26,434
Maybe before I come to bed
I should put on my socks.
25
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,968
Maybe before you come to bed
26
00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:30,767
you oughta stick your feet in the oven.
27
00:01:37,734 --> 00:01:40,200
Geez, I'm going over big here tonight.
28
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,167
Maybe I oughta be on Johnny Carson.
29
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:47,300
Oh, yeah! [GIGGLES]
30
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,634
Stop that, stop that!
31
00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:53,868
Stop that dopey laughing in bed
in the middle of the night.
32
00:01:53,868 --> 00:01:55,801
Why not?
33
00:01:55,801 --> 00:01:57,033
I don't know.
34
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,501
It's some kind of a sin, I think.
35
00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:04,000
It's freezing here. I gotta
get another blanket.
36
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,033
Oh, Archie, you're so cute.
37
00:02:08,033 --> 00:02:10,534
Oh, Edith, you are a pip.
38
00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:15,434
[SIGHS] Oh, hey, hey.
39
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,234
What's this we got here, huh?
40
00:02:17,234 --> 00:02:21,434
Hey, this looks like some
kind of a present here, huh?
41
00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:24,367
Yeah, it's a surprise.
42
00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:32,701
Oh, Archie, that ain't for you.
43
00:02:32,701 --> 00:02:34,000
Why not?
44
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,567
It's for Stephie.
45
00:02:36,567 --> 00:02:39,367
Tomorrow is her 10th birthday.
46
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,734
Oh, yeah...
47
00:02:40,734 --> 00:02:43,033
It's so sad.
48
00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:45,934
What the hell's sad about ten?
49
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:48,367
50 is sad.
50
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:50,434
10 years old
51
00:02:50,434 --> 00:02:54,267
and nobody ever give her a birthday party.
52
00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:55,434
Oh, wow.
53
00:02:55,434 --> 00:02:57,834
[MEOW-LIKE SOUND]
54
00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:59,868
What did you pack in there, a cat?
55
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,200
No. It's a doll.
56
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,367
A beautiful doll.
57
00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,200
And she can do everything.
58
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,834
Her name is Wanda Wee Wee.
59
00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:14,467
Ah, geez!
60
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:17,267
Why the hell did they have to make dolls
61
00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:20,734
do all the disgusting
things that humans do?
62
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,100
[GRUNTS]
63
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,767
It ain't disgusting, it's natural.
64
00:03:25,767 --> 00:03:28,868
Ah... [BLOWS RASPBERRY] to natural.
65
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:30,300
Let me tell you something, Edith.
66
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:34,300
It can't be natural and civilized, too.
67
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:39,100
You know what I'm gonna do tomorrow?
68
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,467
Don't tell me.
69
00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:43,667
I'm gonna give Stephie a surprise party.
70
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,767
Ah... she tells me anyway.
71
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,901
You're so cute.
72
00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:48,067
[MWAH]
73
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:51,501
And you know what we're
gonna have tomorrow?
74
00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:53,033
Say good night, Edith.
75
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,667
- Good night. - Good night.
76
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:58,367
We're gonna have chocolate
cake with chocolate icing,
77
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:01,167
'cause that's what little kids like,
78
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:03,634
and two flavors of ice cream:
79
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,701
peanut butter and jelly
80
00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:08,400
and jamoca almond fudge.
81
00:04:15,901 --> 00:04:17,634
Did you buy that already?
82
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:20,200
Oh, yeah. It's in the freezer.
83
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:26,067
Oh, no, you don't.
84
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:28,467
I'm--I'm only tryin' to get to the can.
85
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,400
Oh... no, you ain't.
86
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,734
- [GRUNTS] - [GIGGLES]
87
00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:34,000
No ice cream.
88
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,534
It'll keep you awake all night.
89
00:04:36,534 --> 00:04:40,601
All right, I'll have it on my
Froot Loops in the morning.
90
00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:43,334
STEPHIE: Aunt Edith!
91
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:44,868
Oh, geez.
92
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,400
Aunt Edith!
93
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,033
We woke her up.
94
00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:52,300
Oh, it must be them frankfurters
and Devil Dogs she ate.
95
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,934
Why do you buy 'em for her?
96
00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:57,467
She won't kiss me if I don't.
97
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,200
- Aunt Edith! - Yeah, I'm comin'.
98
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,601
I hope she didn't hear us
talkin' about her party.
99
00:05:04,601 --> 00:05:07,934
Now, you stay there. No ice cream.
100
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,467
Coming!
101
00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:12,067
What's the matter?
102
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,000
I don't feel good.
103
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,701
Oh, oh.
104
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:18,801
What's wrong?
105
00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,868
I feel funny.
106
00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:23,334
Oh, where do you feel funny?
107
00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:26,434
My stomach.
108
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:28,033
- Here? - No.
109
00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,033
- Here? - Ow!
110
00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:30,601
I'm sorry.
111
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:32,501
What's the matter?
112
00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:34,400
She don't feel good.
113
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,567
Oh... hey, maybe we should
all have a little ice cream.
114
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,534
You got a little fever.
115
00:05:44,534 --> 00:05:47,567
Now, I'll be right back.
116
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:49,801
Archie...
117
00:05:49,801 --> 00:05:55,434
Get a wash cloth and soak
it in rubbing alcohol.
118
00:05:55,434 --> 00:05:58,934
And then put it on her
head and on her stomach--
119
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:02,801
Wouldn't something a little cool
inside the stomach be better?
120
00:06:02,801 --> 00:06:04,567
- No! - Okay.
121
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:07,234
I'll call Dr. Shapiro.
122
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,968
Parkview 8... [REPEATS PHONE NUMBER]
123
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:14,467
Oh, my gosh.
124
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,834
P-A-8.
125
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,167
Oh, no!
126
00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:20,033
They use numbers now.
127
00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:27,968
7-2-8.
128
00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:31,567
7-2-8.
129
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,567
Oh.
130
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,000
It's the same thing!
131
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,968
7-2-8.
132
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,501
EDITH: Archie!
133
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:58,834
Oh, yeah, Edith.
134
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:04,501
The doctor is still examinin' her.
135
00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,634
Oh, no, sit over here, Edith.
136
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,200
There's more room.
137
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,100
Edith, I wish that was
Dr. Shapiro in there.
138
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,901
Well, that is Dr. Shapiro in there.
139
00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:18,334
No.
140
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:19,467
It ain't Dr. Shapiro.
141
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:21,901
That's Dr. Shapiro's son.
142
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,267
But he's a doctor, too.
143
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,968
All right, but I can't take that in.
144
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,067
Every time I look at him there,
145
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:31,067
I remember when he was a kid,
146
00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:34,133
and I had to chase him over
the roof of our garage.
147
00:07:35,968 --> 00:07:40,601
He was the smartest little
kid in Gloria's class.
148
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:44,501
Even in them days, he
wanted to be a doctor.
149
00:07:44,501 --> 00:07:46,667
I know. That's what he was tryin' to be
150
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,868
up on the garage roof with Gloria.
151
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:57,334
He was always interested in science.
152
00:07:57,334 --> 00:08:00,834
Science?
153
00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:03,567
Geez, is that what you call that?
154
00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:11,701
I remember he once told me
that he wanted to make a bat.
155
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,567
What do you mean, a ball bat?
156
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,434
No! A bat.
157
00:08:19,434 --> 00:08:20,534
You know.
158
00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:27,200
How in the hell was he gonna do that?
159
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:34,400
He said that he was gonna
cross a mouse with a bird.
160
00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:45,801
And that's the genius you got
workin' on our kid in there?
161
00:08:46,968 --> 00:08:48,367
- [KNOCKING] - [GASPS]
162
00:08:48,367 --> 00:08:49,901
Doctor, how is she?
163
00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:51,467
She's asleep, but it's her appendix.
164
00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:53,267
It's gonna have to come out.
165
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,601
It's all right, Mrs. Bunker.
166
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,767
Now, an appendectomy in itself
is not a serious operation.
167
00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,634
Where is your telephone?
168
00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:01,300
- Oh, right here, Doctor. - Fine.
169
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,133
Give him room.
170
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:06,634
I'm sorry that the bed ain't made up.
171
00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:08,267
That's perfectly all right.
172
00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:12,000
It got all messy when all
this started to happen
173
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,601
'cause we was in it.
174
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:16,033
Shut up.
175
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,100
We was talkin'.
176
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,234
Why do you have to even bring it up?
177
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:23,901
Sidney, is this a local call?
178
00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:25,667
I'm calling an ambulance.
179
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,901
What, an ambulance?
180
00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:28,367
Oh, no. Hold it, hold it.
181
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,534
Hold it. Now wait a minute.
182
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:32,000
We don't need no ambulance there, Sid.
183
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,167
Dr. Shapiro.
184
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:37,667
Oh, Dr. Shapiro, huh?
185
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:40,767
Hey, he wasn't so high and
mighty and hoity-toity
186
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:44,133
when you was this high, and
I caught you hanging a cat
187
00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:47,033
off old man Cassidy's "ellem" tree.
188
00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:48,934
I never did that.
189
00:09:48,934 --> 00:09:50,801
Who did do that?
190
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:52,968
Mikey Cassidy did it.
191
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,200
What was you doing there?
192
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,734
I was trying to save its life.
193
00:09:57,734 --> 00:10:00,033
Ha ha ha, you hear that, Edith?
194
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:04,367
Every guy in a lynch mob
always swears he's innocent.
195
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:06,601
I was!
196
00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:09,033
But you wasn't innocent of hitting me
197
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,834
on the base of my spine with a rock.
198
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:15,434
That's because you kicked me in the behind.
199
00:10:15,434 --> 00:10:18,567
That's 'cause you was up
on the roof of our garage
200
00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:21,100
making nasties.
201
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,601
Oh, no, no, no, no.
202
00:10:23,601 --> 00:10:25,601
Oh, you was the doctor, Sidney.
203
00:10:25,601 --> 00:10:26,901
Oh, no, no.
204
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:29,200
In those days, I was the patient.
205
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,367
Gloria was the doctor.
206
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,634
Sidney, I'm gonna sock
you right in the jaw!
207
00:10:37,634 --> 00:10:38,767
Oh, no, Archie!
208
00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:40,834
Did you hear what he said there?
209
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:42,634
- Shhh. - My little girl.
210
00:10:42,634 --> 00:10:46,167
- Please, Doctor, call the ambulance.
- No, no, no.
211
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,267
- Get out of the way.
- Archie, what are you doing?
212
00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,601
- No ambu-- - Let him call.
213
00:10:49,601 --> 00:10:52,534
Edith, if anybody's gonna do
an operation around here,
214
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:54,133
it's gonna be his old man.
215
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:55,868
My old man's on vacation.
216
00:10:55,868 --> 00:10:58,534
Okay, at least I want a second opinion.
217
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,167
Mr. Bunker, that girl
has acute appendicitis.
218
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,033
Now, if you want a second opinion,
219
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:05,200
take her to the hospital.
Have it done there.
220
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,934
No. I want a second opinion
221
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,801
to find out if she's gotta
go to the hospital.
222
00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:12,067
- Archie, she should go. - Take it easy.
223
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:15,234
- We don't want something awful happenin' to her.
- Edith, come on.
224
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,601
Nothing awful's gonna happen to her.
225
00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:18,968
I'm gonna call Dr. Kurtsman
226
00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:20,834
from the other side of Norton Boulevard
227
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:22,667
and get him to come over here.
228
00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,734
Now, come on, Sidney,
get away from my phone
229
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,334
and stay off of my roof.
230
00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:29,701
All right, all right, get
your second opinion.
231
00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:32,567
- Archie! - Edith, listen to me.
232
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,567
You want the best for the
child in there, don't you?
233
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:35,767
Yeah.
234
00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:39,033
Well, look at Sidney. He's so young.
235
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:41,434
And on top of everything else,
236
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,234
what the hell kind of a doctor
237
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:46,467
would come choking up in front
of the house in a Plymouth?
238
00:11:50,801 --> 00:11:53,267
Let me call Dr. Kurtsman,
239
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:56,367
who glides around in a Lincoln.
240
00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,300
She's asleep now and her fever is down.
241
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,567
Mrs. Bunker, I want you to keep her in bed
242
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,901
- and take her temperature regularly.
- Oh, I will.
243
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:21,200
Now, if the fever goes up or the pain
increases, don't waste any time.
244
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,734
- No, I won't.
- Take her right to the hospital.
245
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:24,300
- I will. - Here's the phone number there.
246
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,534
Oh, thank you, Sidney.
247
00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,634
I mean "Doctor."
248
00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:30,868
[SIGHS]
249
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,868
Thank you.
250
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:36,868
Would you like to have
251
00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:41,767
some ice cream and cookies
before you leave, Sidney?
252
00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:43,968
No, thank you.
253
00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:45,801
It's not good for my teeth.
254
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,400
- I'll see myself out. - All right.
255
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,334
Oh, thank you, Sidney.
256
00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:55,601
Come on. Shh, shh.
257
00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:58,734
Hold it. Okay, beep beep, here it is:
258
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,667
Archie Bunker calling Dr. Kurtsman.
259
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,901
Archie Bunker standing by
for Dr. Kurtsman's call.
260
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,434
Okay, waiting here.
261
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:08,434
10-4, over and out, roger,
and take it away, Geronimo.
262
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,100
- Archie, I think we should trust, Sidney.
- No, no, no.
263
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,400
- He's a very experienced doctor.
- What--what--
264
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,634
And he was nice enough to make a house call
265
00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:20,434
in the middle of the night.
266
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:22,501
Ah, that's where I got ya.
267
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:26,033
Nowadays, no doctor of experience
268
00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:28,067
would make a house call.
269
00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:33,000
- Archie, I got the number to call--
- No, Edith.
270
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,200
- I'm gonna get the ambulance.
- Edith, no. Sit down, sit down.
271
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,701
Edith, we can't do that.
272
00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,467
We gotta wait for Dr. Kurtsman.
273
00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:41,033
Well, where is he?
274
00:13:41,033 --> 00:13:44,000
The man is--he's--he's out
on the town somewheres.
275
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,701
They're beepin' him now.
He'll get back to us.
276
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,934
Oh, Archie, I don't think she should wait.
277
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,868
- I better call-- - Edith, no, Edith.
278
00:13:50,868 --> 00:13:52,200
Now sit down, sit down.
279
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,868
Come on, what's she doin' in there now?
280
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,200
- She's sleepin'. - Yeah, see that?
281
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,801
She's gonna be all right.
282
00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:02,701
Edith, wait till I show you what
I read in the papers today--
283
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:05,033
Edith, this is--
284
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:06,567
Wait, wait till I tell you
285
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:09,133
what I read in the papers, Edith.
286
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:12,067
Do you know that needless operations
287
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:17,400
"costses" the American
people $40 billion a year?
288
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,367
30 billion for the doctors,
289
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:22,434
and ten billion for the undertakers.
290
00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:31,367
Do you know that 75% of
all needless operations
291
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,000
are totally unnecessary?
292
00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:40,868
Eat your ice cream.
293
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:22,300
The, uh-- The coffee-- The...
294
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,133
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
295
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,601
Aw, geez.
296
00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:49,100
Sit down, Archie.
297
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,467
I am sitting down, Edith.
298
00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:55,834
Oh, I mean that everything
is gonna be all right.
299
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:57,601
Oh, come on, say it, huh?
300
00:15:57,601 --> 00:16:00,100
You're thinkin' it. Why don't
you come out and say it?
301
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,567
- Say what? - I nearly killed the child.
302
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:05,200
Oh, Archie, you didn't.
303
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,267
You couldn't help it if her appendix burst.
304
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:11,501
Who was the one that said she
shouldn't have the operation?
305
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,167
Let me finish.
306
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:16,801
Who was the one that said young
Dr. Shapiro shouldn't do it?
307
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,968
Who said old Dr. Shapiro should do it?
308
00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:22,601
Who said we should get a second
opinion from Dr. Kurtsman?
309
00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:25,367
Who never called me back
from the Copacabana.
310
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:30,100
Who done all them stupid things there? Who?
311
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,667
You.
312
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:36,534
You throw that in my face and
say you ain't blamin' me?
313
00:16:36,534 --> 00:16:42,300
Oh, Archie, you only done
what you thought was right.
314
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:44,300
Well, Edith...
315
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,934
I know it's hard for you to believe, but...
316
00:16:46,934 --> 00:16:50,167
I finally was wrong about something.
317
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:54,234
Archie, lots of people do something wrong
318
00:16:54,234 --> 00:16:56,033
because they thought it was right,
319
00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:58,767
and if it turns out right instead of wrong,
320
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,968
then they wasn't wrong.
321
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:02,367
So you can't say that you was wrong
322
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:04,834
just because it doesn't turn out right.
323
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,734
I know you're trying to cheer me up.
324
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:13,467
What I don't know is...
325
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,701
what the hell you're talkin' about?
326
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,667
Well, I'll say it again--
327
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:21,334
No! Don't repeat that again.
328
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,601
God!
329
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,067
[SIGHS]
330
00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:30,767
Ooh!
331
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,300
Well...
332
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,901
you'd think that the
child's deadbeat father
333
00:18:00,901 --> 00:18:03,901
would be here at a time like this.
334
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:09,167
Oh, maybe he would be
here if he knew about it.
335
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:12,667
Yeah. Why the hell don't he know about it?
336
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:17,334
'Cause he ain't here.
337
00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:22,234
This ain't gonna work, Edith.
338
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:26,601
[SIGHS] Yeah.
339
00:18:26,601 --> 00:18:29,033
You know what I think?
340
00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:31,901
I don't think he's never
gonna come back here.
341
00:18:31,901 --> 00:18:34,534
And if he don't come back here,
342
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:37,667
how are you gonna handle that?
343
00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:41,934
Well, I guess that means...
344
00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:44,434
- that Stephanie is ours.
- Stephanie is ours.
345
00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:46,801
Yeah, I know.
346
00:18:46,801 --> 00:18:49,467
Oh, Archie.
347
00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:54,534
Don't you love Stephie?
348
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:58,767
Edith, I ain't gonna answer that question.
349
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:01,400
Look, she's ten years old now, okay?
350
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,634
In six years, she'll be...
351
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:09,901
around 16, more or less, huh?
352
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:16,367
Just at that time when we would
need all the strength we had
353
00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:20,434
to fight with her night and day...
354
00:19:20,434 --> 00:19:23,501
we'd barely have enough
strength to drag ourselves
355
00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:25,267
over the hill to the bone orchard.
356
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:29,567
Oh, I ain't goin' to no bone orchard.
357
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,234
If I go, you go.
358
00:19:31,234 --> 00:19:36,567
Archie, having Stephie around
is gonna keep us young.
359
00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,734
Mmm...
360
00:19:37,734 --> 00:19:40,367
- Mrs. Bunker? - EDITH: Oh!
361
00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:42,667
The operation is over. Stephanie is fine.
362
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:45,567
Oh, oh, thank you, thank you.
363
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:48,667
[MWAH] Oh, can I see her?
364
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:51,234
She won't be coming out of the
anesthetic for a couple of hours.
365
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,167
Why don't you go home and
come back in the morning?
366
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:57,601
Oh, no, no. I want to stay
here when she wakes up.
367
00:19:57,601 --> 00:19:59,000
[QUIETLY] Say something.
368
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,267
Uh, yeah, congratulations there, Sidney.
369
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:06,167
Well, after all, I guess you're
a chimp off the old block.
370
00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:07,534
Thank you.
371
00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:10,167
I bet your old man could have did the thing
372
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,334
in half the time.
373
00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:12,834
Probably.
374
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:16,501
But don't worry. I don't
charge by the hour.
375
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:18,634
That's very decent of you there, Sidney.
376
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:22,267
Oh, thank you, Doctor.
377
00:20:22,267 --> 00:20:23,901
Arch!
378
00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:25,534
Come on. Edith, Edith.
379
00:20:25,534 --> 00:20:29,067
Oh, why don't you go home
and get some sleep, huh?
380
00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:30,400
Oh, no, no, no.
381
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,567
You're gonna stay here. Come on. Sit down.
382
00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:34,367
I'll stay with you.
383
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,868
Besides, if I went home alone,
384
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:38,200
I probably couldn't sleep anyhow.
385
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:43,267
Oh, Archie, you do love Stephie.
386
00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:46,000
That ain't it.
387
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,934
I just mean that, uh...
388
00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:49,934
I'd probably miss your cold feet.
389
00:20:49,934 --> 00:20:53,000
Oh, you're so cute.
390
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,901
Edith, the nurse.
391
00:20:54,901 --> 00:20:57,167
Geez. Huh?
392
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,000
You're awake for this, huh?
393
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,901
Yeah.
394
00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:09,868
- PEOPLE: * Happy birthday to you *
- EDITH: Oh, look!
395
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:14,267
- * Happy birthday to you *
- ARCHIE: Hey, you got all the kids here.
396
00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:19,567
Happy birthday, dear Stephanie
397
00:21:19,567 --> 00:21:23,968
- * Happy birthday to you *
- I forgot it was my birthday.
398
00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:26,234
[CHEERING]
399
00:21:26,234 --> 00:21:28,834
Hey, hey, Doc.
400
00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:31,167
- Hey, who set that all up, huh? - I did.
401
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:33,868
You did? Hey, Sidney, you ain't a bad guy.
402
00:21:33,868 --> 00:21:37,200
Well, I'm a chimp off the old block.
403
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,033
Well, I should've said that myself.
404
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,267
- Now, blow out the candles.
- We'll all help her.
405
00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:45,467
Make a wish first.
406
00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,767
EVERYBODY: One, two, three!
407
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:49,968
[CHEERING]
408
00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:51,634
I'll cut the cake.
409
00:21:51,634 --> 00:21:54,467
- You got your wish, kid.
- That means you're gonna get it.
410
00:21:54,467 --> 00:21:56,567
What did you wish for?
411
00:21:57,968 --> 00:22:00,400
That my father was here.
412
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,934
Edith, why don't you open
up all her presents?
413
00:22:05,934 --> 00:22:09,133
- Oh, yeah. Let's open this one first.
- Let's see what we got here.
414
00:22:09,133 --> 00:22:12,534
Take that end-- Ooh! You're strong.
415
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,234
- That's--
- Hey, here's this big beautiful one here.
416
00:22:28,234 --> 00:22:30,033
- Let's open this. - Yeah.
417
00:22:30,033 --> 00:22:33,067
First, we gotta find out
who it's from there.
418
00:22:33,067 --> 00:22:35,467
Yeah, this here was from out of town.
419
00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:37,567
Oh, no, it ain't. It...
420
00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:39,968
Read the card.
421
00:22:41,934 --> 00:22:45,734
"Happy birthday from your daddy."
422
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,601
Yeah. See?
423
00:22:50,601 --> 00:22:53,300
So your old man was
thinking about you there.
424
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:57,100
- But, Archie--
- Edith, will you open the damn thing?
425
00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,868
Hey, look who's in there!
426
00:23:00,868 --> 00:23:02,367
That's, uh-- What's her name?
427
00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:03,801
Peggy Poo Poo.
428
00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:10,234
BOTH: It's Wanda Wee Wee.
429
00:23:10,234 --> 00:23:12,234
Same thing.
430
00:23:12,234 --> 00:23:14,868
Thanks, Uncle Archie.
431
00:23:14,868 --> 00:23:16,934
Me? What are you thanking me for?
432
00:23:16,934 --> 00:23:21,234
Because my father doesn't
spell "daddy" D-A-D-Y.
433
00:23:23,968 --> 00:23:27,133
- Ohh, Archie. - Edith, take it easy.
434
00:23:27,133 --> 00:23:29,133
If you're gonna call me cute again,
435
00:23:29,133 --> 00:23:31,100
I swear I'll open a vein.
436
00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:34,534
Okay, cake for everybody.
437
00:23:34,534 --> 00:23:36,467
ARCHIE: Hey, hey! Here's the cake.
438
00:23:36,467 --> 00:23:37,968
Now, don't eat all of it.
439
00:23:37,968 --> 00:23:40,234
This is for you, Mrs. Bunker.
440
00:23:40,234 --> 00:23:41,534
Ooh, here!
441
00:23:41,534 --> 00:23:42,934
How about some breakfast?
442
00:23:42,934 --> 00:23:44,601
- Huh? - Her.
443
00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:46,167
- Oh. - Okay.
444
00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:47,534
- Cafeteria? - Sure.
445
00:23:47,534 --> 00:23:50,534
Yeah, well, the cafeteria
is all right, little girl,
446
00:23:50,534 --> 00:23:53,767
but don't never go up on
a roof with this guy.
447
00:24:21,067 --> 00:24:22,501
[
]
448
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,968
All in the Family was
played to a studio audience
449
00:24:41,968 --> 00:24:43,634
for live responses.
450
00:24:43,684 --> 00:24:48,234
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0